Day 13 March 29th

Today was my long run! I have been looking forward to this because I love clearing my mind, spending time with the Lord and it is warm!! It was 62 degrees and for the last couple of miles the sun was rising and shined on my face!  Oh it felt so good! I even ran an extra mile, 7 whole miles:) I would have liked to make it 8 to 10 but I wanted to be sure to get my God time in before the kids got up. 

On my run I noticed so many things.  My joy was filled as I heard and saw the rushing water from the overfilled river, birds chirping, crickets chirping, and felt the warm pockets of air that were near the river.  It was a bit windy but it felt good on my face. There were also some things that tried to pull me out of my peaceful experience including the empty church parking lots, the missing Sunday morning cars rushing to Church and the unnatural silence of a small town restricting normal daily life experiences. At one point an ambulance raced past me with his sirens blaring.  I was rushed with a wave of emotion. Are they going to help someone suffering from the virus? This startled me back to reality however I was grateful for the moments of joy and peace during my run!

When I returned I did my God time outside! Parker joined shortly after I sat down so I took a break for our morning cuddles and convo.  We talked about birds and how he wished he could fly. He says he has plans to get a jetpack when he is old enough LOL! 

I read Job 18 and 19.  Bildad responded to Job’s frustration with his friends with more condemnation and trying to convince Job that he is an evil man.  I am not sure why he is so set on trying to drive Job to believing that this is all because of his evilness. The only thing I can think of is that it was just another way Satan was trying to get Job to abandon his faith in God.  

Instead Job stands firm in chapter 19.  Although still distraught and pleading with God, he remains faithful to the idea that God is his redeemer and Job will not accept that he is condemned forever.  After everything his faith in God remains steadfast.     

Before church (online) Parker helped me make breakfast and then Aaron and I were able to slip away for a walk with just the two of us! It was so nice to get away for 20 minutes.  It was very refreshing and needed. When we returned we watched church together as a family and I got some cuddles from Addie! 

We had a pretty active afternoon!  Parker played outside with one of his RC cars in the 25 MPH winds! It was quite comical to watch the truck struggle against the wind. At one point it started moving on it’s own and Parker thought this was the best thing ever.  Later Aaron took him down to the empty school parking lot to use his really fast RC car and that was a special time for both of them. 

Our Costco order came in.  This was by far the best experience yet with grocery delivery!  

Parker and I did a live workout with my fitness group. He worked so hard and did amazing! He so wants to be strong and make me proud.  I try to make sure he always knows that he is strong and that I am proud of him and appreciate him. Things go much smoother when he feels valued:) 

After dinner we played a game as a family and the kids got to do Facetime with their cousins and discuss the book they are reading for their own little book club. 

While the girls talked, Parker and I took a walk alone. We talked about spring break and how he was sad about not getting to do our plans.  He asked if maybe we could go do one thing that we had planned. I had to talk about how we have to wait till after the virus is gone. I am finding I am having to have these conversations more with the kids, it makes me sad. Along our path there was a little toy on the road that was smashed and we picked it up to investigate it and then a few min later said “oh no what if it has the virus on it?”.  This broke my heart. Our language, conversation and our normal mannerisms all are having to change. I am having to teach my children things that I never thought would be a topic of conversation. 

I am reading a book that Addie insisted I read “The War that Saved my Life”.  This is a big sacrifice for me since I do not like fiction but anyway, turns out it is a very good book! 

It is an amazing account of two children’s experience in World War II.  That is a very bad description of what the book is about but my point that I want to make is there are several similarities in the progression and process of preparing for the war, the arrival of the war and the invasion of Hitler to what we are going through now with this virus and the shutdown of our lives.  It is disturbing.  

In the story you see the importance of sticking together as a family, to get through the war. It demonstrates the power of everyone playing a specific role in order to win.  The even more valuable piece that I am getting from the book is the perspective of the traumatic event from a child. It has made me much more aware of the needs of my kids as we try to help them make sense of this all! If you have nothing better to do (which most of us don’t) I would suggest the book! It is a good read. 

Final thoughts and challenge: I am starting to feel a bit off. I think a mixture of sadness, uncertainty and perhaps the feeling of nothing to look forward to?  I can’t quite put my finger on it. I feel I have very healthy life systems in place and strong faith to carry me through this time and I will be okay but I can’t help but think of others that do not have hope. How are they coping?  My heart is breaking for those out there that need someone to love them and share this experience with them. I know yesterday I challenged everyone to check in with someone, and to make an effort to be there for someone but what if you are the person who is struggling and in pain and needs to be checked in on?  I want to challenge you to reach out to someone you trust and tell them what you need! I would love it if you would reach out to me! I was created to help people and I have not had my normal platform (school) for helping others so it would be so good for my soul to chat with you. Please get the help you need, it could save your life! 

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