Day 19 April 4th

I started my day with a beautiful run in the bright morning sunlight! 

During my time with God this morning I read Job 23.  Job is now imagining what it would be like if he could meet with God and to find out why it seems he is being punished.  He explains how he would present all the details of his case to God and then argue with him that what He has been doing to him is wrong.  In Job’s eyes it does not make sense that an innocent man, like himself, should have to go through difficult situations, although at the start he mentioned to his wife that they should accept both good and bad from God. 

Job describes how he thinks God would respond to him. He believes God would see things from his perspective and agree with Job’s idea of how things should be.  Job presents this in a way that seems to indicate that Job knows better than God does.  

I think we do this all the time! We feel that we know what would be best or better in any given situation rather than how God has it planned. However, we find out later that it was all in God’s perfect timing and His plan was in fact, the best plan after all.  

As Job goes on for the rest of the chapter with a roller coaster of thoughts.. He realizes he feels presenting his case is a good plan but then remembers he cannot find God. At about the same time he remembers that God can find Job and knows that God knows of his innocence. After this Job decides that he cannot change God’s mind and this plants fear in his mind so he then ends the chapter being afraid of God.

I think this chapter really shows how something so tragic can shake your faith and cause so much confusion about what we once knew to be true.  God said there was none like Job on earth. He said he was blameless and upright and fearing the Lord. Job was solid in his faith and knew the promises of God but look where he is now at this point in his journey.  

I am hopeful that I can remain strong in my faith, that I can remember the promises of God, even through this horrific time.  God is with us and as we will see through Job’s story, He will see us to the end and beautiful things will come of this. 

After my God time, I had a nice long talk with Addie about de-stressing her life and how to manage the stress she was feeling. We did an activity (I highly suggest this for anyone with overwhelm) where I gave her a plate and we wrote everything that is on “her plate” in life. We then went one by one deciding if it was something she felt God would have her involved with and if not we got rid of it and if so we found a way to make that thing less stressful. She really enjoyed this! She also was very upset about the virus and said it is ruining everything. We talked about this and then talked about the hidden blessings that we have been seeing from it.  She is so much like me it is frightening. LOL! 

The rest of the afternoon was filled with many activities and hard work. I played basketball with the kids.  Then we did a bunch of yard work together, Nancy supervised:). The younger two lasted about 5 minutes but Addie stuck in there for over an hour.  She was really enjoying herself! She then wanted to learn how to mow so I had fun teaching her. I was so blessed by her willingness to take on new responsibilities.  She is maturing so fast and I am so grateful for this time of isolation and stillness to really focus on her and to recognize her needs during this time. 

As we were working on the lawn, we noticed so many signs of life and of newness.  There were birds chirping, flowers blooming, buds on the trees, green on the bushes that were growing back in and we had to mow the lawn because the grass was getting too long! It’s funny how the seasons just keep moving forward even as it seems time is standing still in this hard season of life for us.  It is as if they did not get the memo. 

Another huge blessing today was Addie’s teacher doing a drive by visit!  She just drove up to the end of the drive and chatted with Addie while sitting in the car (keeping her social distance:)) It was so sweet and meant so much to Addie! It is so strange and sad that she will not ever have her again as a teacher and that she missed a whole quarter of being in class with her.  This is hard for Addie. 

This evening the kids got started doing some of the new crafts they bought from our online shopping and Aaron made them chocolate peanut butter shakes.  While they were doing this I was reorganizing the upstairs and packing up so more stuff to put into storage.

This evening during the press conference one reporter asked Trump a question about him being impeached.  This is so appalling that someone would be so rude and inconsiderate of the time of all the hard working professionals on the stage and not to mention those who are battling for their life or have had someone recently died from the virus.  Who cares right now about politics! We have so much more to focus on. I also find myself feeling this way when I am reading about drive by shootings and gangs killing people still. People just amaze me. I guess criminals don’t rest for anything! It is so sad.  

Final thoughts and challenge: Today overall was a productive day for me. I got more done today than I have in the last three weeks.  As I thought about it, I think I was feeling stressed and needed to take some control back. I do this when I feel I am losing control of a situation or feel I  have no control. What I do is frantically go through projects or clean or do something that I can take charge of. It never really does give me any more control over my situation but it does feel good to complete something and it helps me to refocus and reminds me that I don’t have to be in control. This is by far the healthiest thing I do when I am feeling this way (other than running).  I have some pretty unhealthy ways I handle feeling out of control too. Such as losing my temper, yelling at someone for no reason and being mean to my husband. So I feel it is a win that I chose to cope in this way today:) 

What do you do when you are feeling like you are out of control? Do you have something healthy you do? What about the unhealthy things? What healthy things can we do to replace the unhealthy ways of coping?  And I ask the question again, why do we have this overwhelming need to feel in control?! 

One thought on “Day 19 April 4th

  1. That was so awesome of Addie’s teacher! I think when I feel things are out of my control that I want control, I probably have unhealthy ways of dealing with it (… food….) so I definitely need to replace that with a healthy way! I’ve been thinking about that. I think the best thing I could do for myself to help is to do more food prep for myself so I have healthy things easily accessible!!

    Liked by 1 person

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