Day 22 April 7th

I woke up to thunder and lightning this morning! This threw off my schedule! Today is a run day so I had to wait it out. I started my God time while I waited. 

The passage that was used in my devotional today was Psalms 127:2. It talks about how God gives his beloved sleep and how it is vain to get up early and stay up late with business and to eat bread if sorrows. This verse is addressing a real issue that most Americans have ( when we are not forced into lock down). We are constantly keeping ourselves busy, filling our schedules with more and more things. When we do this we are causing ourselves anxiety and we lose focus of what is truly important. We have little rest and all for what? What are we trying to prove? The good thing is God does not expect this from us. He’s not looking for us to do another thing to please him or for us to get another thing done. He wants to offer us rest and comfort. 

When we return to “normal” life, I am so curious to see if things will go back to exactly how they were with the hustle and stress that Americans place on themselves. I wonder what the impact of this slowing down and resting will have on our nation. Will we want to return to how it was before? Personally, I am not sold that I want to return to that life! 

Today as I was working on my own work for my job, I decided to be more hands on with the girls’ distance learning. They are taking way too long to complete it.  After a day with Addie I can see that she is very easily distracted! I am working with her on some ways to stay focused so that we are not spending countless hours on school! Alaina just needs to pay a little more attention to detail.  We will get this down! Aaron works with Parker and it goes pretty smoothly. School and my work kept us busy all morning and afternoon. 

Sometimes I get this panicked feeling that maybe our kids will not be ready for the next grade or maybe we will fail them with this distance learning.  It can get so frustrating and overwhelming that I just want them to be done but then I have to remember this is 9 weeks of their education! We have to keep pushing them and helping them learn.  I assume if we stick to what the teachers are giving us, the kids should be okay right? 

It was a beautiful day after the dark skies went away from the storms! It was over 70 degrees and sunny. In fact it was so warm that the kids were complaining when we took our family walk that they were soooo hot! I told them to suck it up while I soaked it up as much as possible. I can’t express how much the sun does for my mental health:) I honestly feel the sunshine is God’s gift to me!

Parker has been constantly asking how long until Easter. Today he had me look up how many hours.  I think he is really excited to have something to look forward to. I don’t think he feels there is much to look forward to these days 😦 He said that he is most excited about finding eggs and that it is the day Jesus rose again to save us! I have some fun things planned to hopefully make it special but it still won’t be the same without our whole family. 

The remainder of the day was pretty uneventful other than after dinner we had brownies and ice cream! That is something to look forward to in our house:)

Final thoughts and challenge: At bedtime tonight Addie was having the hardest time. There were lots of tears and she just kept trying to explain herself and how she was feeling.  The best she could do is “I just don’t feel good, like I don’t feel right”. She was not talking about her physical body. She was talking about her emotional state. Everything she described, in her 10 year old way of explaining, points directly to a slight amount of depression.  She feels she has lost all of her normalcy, doesn’t see her friends anymore, misses the structure of the school day and is having a hard time finding fun or joy in anything. My heart is breaking for her.  

When we started to talk I had a solution for all her problems and then a voice in my head said SHUT UP AND LISTEN!! From there on she did not stop talking/crying/hyperventilating for over an hour.  I just kept praying in my head that God would help her sort things out in her mind as she spilled her deepest emotions and I didn’t say a thing. By the end I had resolved to cuddle next to her while she went to sleep and as we were dozing off she said “mommy, I need to tell you something very important. Something I would want to hear if I were you. I am very thankful for you. You are so helpful to me and I don’t know what I would do without you. I look up to you and want to be like you. I love you mommy, thank you!” 

Turns out the right thing to do was to shut up and listen:).  Trust me I just wanted to continue to throw all the fixes at her so I could tuck her in and have my short time in the evening with no children but I knew I had to dig deep and make time for her and we were both blessed by it.

Do you have anyone that just needs you to shut up and listen as they work through their thoughts? Do you need to slow down and put your stuff aside for an hour? Maybe you need someone to do that for you? 

2 thoughts on “Day 22 April 7th

  1. So sad to here how hard this is for Addie, definitely praying for her!! That’s so awesome about hearing from God and the harder part, listening!! Good job Mama!! Thank you so much for that reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

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