I peeled myself out of bed this morning and worked out! I almost cried because I didn’t want to but last week I made a commitment to myself that this week I was going to push my weights and reps so I did and hit a few new personal bests! Hard work pays off I guess lol!
It is a Monday after a 3 day weekend, it feels a little different returning to work and school in our new way of living than it would returning after a break to my physical job and the kids school. Either way it is still stressful. I was late in getting everything organized but I got it done!
I got back into Job! I haven’t given it up, but I did take a couple day break from it. It was getting tedious for a bit. Now that he’s ditched his friends for not being encouraging and set them straight on the fact that God does not just reward those who are righteous and punish those who are evil, he talks about the topic of wisdom.
In chapter 28 he describes how hard it is to find God’s wisdom. He lands on the idea that God IS wisdom and to depart from evil is understanding. Although Job is getting the idea that when we don’t understand God’s ways, we must trust his wisdom, I don’t think he is ready to accept that God is using his wisdom in Job’s situation. I think this is a very common response among Christians. As a whole we know that we don’t understand God’s ways and we can lean on the fact that His wisdom is greater than our understanding, until there is a situation where we don’t think it applies or it is difficult to trust.
Today I had a really hard day. I was frustrated most of the day and felt stuck in my frustration. I have no idea how, but the day felt busy and stressful and I didn’t have time to do what I wanted to do. I was stressed about many things. Some days it feels that the walls of this house are closing in. Today was one of those days.
In the evening I needed our mandatory walk so badly to clear my head! There was a lot of grumbling and complaining because it was so cold but it was good for us all! We had another hot chocolate walk. I even had hot chocolate this time! Normally I have coffee. It was so sweet I could hardly finish it. LOL That is what I get for having a clean diet mostly free of added sugars. 🙂 I was feeling much better after getting some fresh air. When I returned I made us a nice dinner with lots of veggies! The kids ate so bad yesterday that I was trying to be extra healthy today. Parker even woke up in the middle of the night and threw up from eating such bad food. This is also a downfall of a clean diet. When you overdo it, your body revolts!! He was just fine this morning, in case you were concerned. 🙂
After we put the kids in bed my mom set up a zoom meeting with my sisters and her and bro in law popped in for a minute. It was nice to see them all and chat about nothing really.
I do miss my family. I am not sure they all agree with how strict we are being by following guidelines and staying home but they are respectful and don’t give us a hard time about it, so that is nice. It is hard to be the only ones that are not around the whole family. They still got together for Easter and still see each other often and I know we are missing out on many memories but we need to protect Nancy with all our might and try to help the community by helping stop the spread. There are so many making huge sacrifices, and it is so hard. I was thinking today about how special our reunion with the family will be! I imagined us hugging and crying because we have missed each other so much. It will be awesome to see them again in person! Addie is praying that by her birthday we can be free! That is in July. We shall see!
Final thoughts and challenge: Today as I struggled, I gave myself such a hard time. I was flooded with emotions. I was angry at myself for struggling, then I felt sad, then frustrated again. I started to feel that I had very little control. What I needed to do was take a break and pray and breathe and I didn’t listen to my body and do it until after I had stewed all day. I tell you all this because most days it probably seems like I am “always looking at the bright side of life” but you have to know that I struggle and I battle in my mind daily. I have to surrender my thoughts and feelings over and over to God. He is the only reason I make it!
Where are you at? Are you struggling daily? Have you had to talk yourself off the ledge yet? What do you do to get yourself through the funk? If you are willing, can you share in the comments? Your way of coping might help another reader…and ME!