I woke up this morning excited to go directly to my God time and coffee! It is my rest day but I will be doing a live kickboxing workout with my fitness group later just for fun:)
I spent over an hour reading my bible and studying. I was in Job 36 and 37. I am really starting to like this Elihu guy. He is speaking so much truth and encouragement to Job. He points out to Job that in his suffering he has turned to questioning God and is allowing his mind to wander to the point where he is suggesting that he knows what would be better than God does. Sound familiar? It does for my own life!
Elihu says this is a dangerous place to be. Job has started to judge God. Rather than condemning Job for this, Elihu suggests that when he (we) start to question God’s goodness and justice during suffering to turn Job’s (our) focus to his marvelous works. Think about all God does, marvel in his wonders.
Elihu brings up many of God’s great works such as God is infinite, the rain cycle, thunder, lightning, storms, snow, animals, the cold, ice and how the sky and the animals warn us when a storm is coming.
He then challenges Job asking him if he knows how to balance the clouds and how to make the lightning work or how to spread out the sky. Wow! These are all wonders that are beyond Job and our scope of understanding. So his point is when something is going wrong in our lives, we do not always have the scope to understand what God is going to do with it. We need to keep our focus on what we know to be true about God and how he is good and powerful and just and will redeem! This is what Job needed to hear! This is what we need to hear!
Toward the end of my reading Parker woke up so I made breakfast and he ate and then Alaina woke up and immediately wanted to try her new bike that we put together last night. Although it was 35 degrees out, it was sunny and beautiful so all the kids and I went for an impromptu bike ride for her to try it out! She loved it! She was zooming all around on it jumping over curbs and all. Parker’s bike comes on Monday and he cannot wait! I can’t either because the poor kid is struggling so badly on his tiny bike!
In the afternoon I had some me time while the kids watched a movie. First I did a kickboxing workout live with my fitness group. That is always so fun! Then I video chatted with my best friends from way back! We basically grew up together. It is funny how it took a quarantine for us to realize we can use video chat to meet up! It was so great to see their faces and hear how things are going. It was interesting to hear how things were different for them during this time. My heart was fully blessed from our time together!
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful other than me finishing up some work in Addie’s room. All there is left to do now is to have the carpet installed, and who knows when that will be able to happen! While I was working Aliana came into the room with the iPad and wanted to look up DIY tents for her American Girl doll. I helped her a little here and there but it was clear that she wanted me to be more hands on. I REALLY did not want to stop what I was doing but it was very clear that I should. I am embarrassed at how hard this was for me. To slow down and do a project with your child seems like no big deal, the thing you should want to do but it is so hard for me. I even cried a little fighting the will to resist inside of me but…I did it! I made myself do the project with her. I am so glad I did because she was so proud of herself and I was proud of her too! It turned out very well. She even found a design that collapses and is portable. She really is our creative and artistic one. I feel awful that I didn’t want to stop to spend that time with her. And even though I did, I ended up getting my project done in Addie’s room too.
Final thoughts and challenge: It has been awhile since I have felt the ugly feeling I felt today when having to slow down and put something aside to do something with one of my kids. I hate this about me so much. It is something that I am forever working on changing. Although I have gotten so much better, when this issue rears its stupid head I get so mad at myself! After working through some feelings, I decided to extend myself some grace. I make mistakes and I will always make mistakes. It is what I learn from them that determines the outcome.
Do you have ugly stuff coming out lately? I know I have asked before, but do you need to extend yourself some grace for that stuff? What can you learn from your ugliness?