Day 65 May 20th

It was a cold morning for my run. I enjoyed my worship music this morning rather than a podcast. I love to worship while I run. I feel so connected to the Lord and feel his security and peace. I also did a live arm workout with my fitness group. My arms were jello after! Not even kidding!

On my post run walk I listened to Bridgetown Daily, “Having Compassion for our Compulsions”. It was so good. It was the perfect mixture of spirituality and psychology! I love it! The presenter so perfectly addressed the issue of so many having compulsive behaviors and our need to self sooth. The idea is that during this time we are having a normal response to an abnormal situation. Our compulsions are not a lack of self-control but a search to find a way to sooth or to find relief.  This is a person’s trauma response to losing social connections and the loss of freewill in a way, not being able to do the things we once did. 

He gives us some ideas on how to try to free ourselves from the negative/destructive compulsions and replace them with a self-soothing compulsion that is positive and will enhance our lives rather than take away from it. He suggests that when we feel a specific compulsion, take the time to find out why you are craving that thing and see what your mind and body are really searching for. When we take the time to understand this, the compulsion starts to lose the control it once had, and we can start to find things to replace that behavior. 

I made protein pancakes for the kids this morning. Today is Parker’s food choices.  He loves for me to add dark chocolate chips to his. Today was a recommended day so we had a little easier day of school. This makes it easier for me to get my work done too. 

Today our numbers in our county doubled. I am hoping this will not be a trend! Also, today the governor announced that he is moving up the date to enter phase 3 from Sunday to Friday.  This is a very good move for the economy, which is why I think it happened. The state has still not seen a decrease in numbers of cases or deaths. I think that most decisions being made now are for money reasons. 

This evening I learned that one of my past students had been shot and killed. He was only 19 years old. I worked a lot with this student before he transferred to a new school at the end of his sophomore year.  Even at that time I was pleading with him to get out of the lifestyle he was living and explained that I have had several other students that took the same path and didn’t live to see 20 but he insisted that he would be fine. I am just so heartbroken and grieving for his family. It is so frustrating to me that you can’t save them all! I so wish I could! 

Final thoughts and challenge: In regard to our compulsions, there were some specific ways that were suggested in the podcast to reduce access to our compulsive behavior (such as pornography, screen time, alcohol abuse, eating, exercising etc.).  These include not keeping alcohol in your house during this time, parenting your phone, changing passwords to your social media accounts or deleting them for this time, building structure into your day by having a morning routine and building a community around you to help support you during this time and journaling or tracking your emotions when you are struggling.

What can you do to grow closer to replacing your compulsion with something that is better for you? Can you take some time to listen to what your body and mind are really desiring? What is the deeper issue?

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