Day 91 June 15th

Well last night was fun…NOT! I was up a lot of the night with Parker. He was throwing up again. This means he had a little too many sweets yesterday. His body responds so differently to sweets than the girls. It does not take too much for him to over do it. It was really sad though, he told me this morning that when he first woke up feeling like he was going to throw up he thought that he had the virus and he got scared but then he remembered he ate too many sweets. He also told me, as he cried, that he was going to throw all his candy and unhealthy stuff away and can never eat it now. I felt so bad for him! I explained that he just has to listen to his body and know what his limits are. Because I was up so much I slept in until 7:00 so I got a late start on my run but I got in a quick 2 miles and did my workout with my fitness group live. 

During my God time I was so distracted with my anxious thoughts about our visiting family yesterday and deciding if we should continue to venture out or pull back. Because I couldn’t focus I spent my time just journaling in my prayer journal asking God for peace, wisdom, protection and guidance. I am so confused about why I don’t feel peace about this situation any longer. I am guessing it is because I left my house and muddied the waters.  As of now, I plan to continue to safely visit my family and friends and will trust the Lord for protection and a prompting if we need to make any changes to this. 

My cousin joined me for my workout today! After we processed some of my thoughts that I have been having and talked about her plan of action for her family and visiting soon. It is so nice to have someone like minded to throw ideas around with. After journaling, praying and talking with her I feel a little better and have a clearer mind.  

Today was filled with tying up odds and ends for the closing of the house tomorrow! Then in the evening we started pressure washing the house to get it ready to be painted by my dad on Wednesday. We are excited to get all our projects done and are grateful for the time to do them:) 

Final thoughts and challenge: Today has been an emotional roller coaster. One minute I feel we are safe to do more things and then the next minute I remember that the cases in the US rose by 25,000 in one day and are still going up in our area! One minute I feel it’s ok to risk our physical health to nurture our mental health and the next I remember the responsibility we have to keep Nancy safe! There is no sure answer. I feel you can’t trust anyone, not even the people in charge, and there is no real guidance…just a bunch of uneducated guesses and opinions. I know this comes across as fearful but honestly it really is more a questioning of what is the correct and best way to handle this so the least amount of damage is done. 

I do wonder if there anyone else feeling this conflict or have they turned off their inner voice? Is there anyone else out there that literally changes their opinion or convictions about COVID and how to handle it multiple times a day? If you have it all figured out, please share your resolve!!!

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