Day 131 July 26th

Today I was able to run 6 relaxing miles! It was quite warm but I was happy to be back to 100% and actually did pretty good on my time. After running it was Alaina’s turn for a donut and the park! 

We headed out right right when I returned for our 5 mile bike ride. Just like the other two, we had such a great time. She is so special in her own way. I still can’t get over how much different all three kids are! We talked about so many things and she was so grateful to have the time with me. She threw me off when she said the exact opposite of Parker when I asked if she was going to miss being together as a family every day. She said no, she will not miss it! She is looking forward to having some time outside of the house! I am glad she feels this way because she is the one who struggles the most with change and transition. 

When we returned the kids joined me on the porch during my God time. Before the interruption, I was writing in my prayer journal about my moods and how I feel my emotions are out of control. Deep down I have confidence in God and that all things will work out but at the same time the more I think on our return to school I can’t help but to feel uncertain and have so many questions. I also keep going back and forth on questioning if we are doing the right thing for the kids by sending them back to school. I feel like I am spiraling and not sure why? After journaling, praying and talking with Aaron I was feeling better. I think it is just something I need to work through as this new season in life approaches. I decided to keep focusing on getting as much time with the family and kids as possible before we return. 

This evening we took an impromptu trip to the park we have gone to a couple of times. Addie wanted to share the river with her siblings. There was another family there actually cooking out by the river but we were able to make it work where we all shared the area and they even offered us some chicken! It was so kind and awesome to still see some hospitality! We had such a nice time together. The kids loved getting out of the house again! We ended up going through a local diary joint to get some ice cream on the way home as a sweet treat! 

Final thoughts and challenge: As hard as I am trying to handle the uncertainty of these times and returning to the schools for both work and for my kids to be educated, I am falling short with just being able to relax and go with the flow. In almost any other situation in life, at some point in the process I am able to just relax and rest in the fact that it will work out. I think the difference this time is there is no clue as to how this can all end. At least with other life situations, someone has experience with the same issue and you can somewhat see how it might end. There is a level of uncertainty in this that is beyond comprehension. I just keep praying (constantly) and trusting that every decision we make is wise. 

Do you find that you are having a harder time in resting and having peace during this pandemic than you normally would in any other circumstance? How are you handling this new territory and what are you doing to keep the peace?

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