Day 133 July 27th

The weather this morning was much cooler than I expected. I got a quick run in and then immediately did my workout when I returned. My trainer could not do a live workout so I used the recording. It was nice to be done working out by 8:00 but I sure missed my group! By the time I finished I was drenched! For some reason a workout feels so much more effective the more sweat there is! 

Today during my God time I felt that I could relate to the pastor from the Bridgetown Daily podcast.  He was talking about his prayer life the last couple of weeks. It was one of a cyclical nature of questioning and asking for answers and then returning to the questioning. He said he did this until his energy and attention was sapped and he was discouraged. I feel like I am stuck in this cycle right now. I am tired and unsure about our decisions and what we should be doing and unclear about what the future holds. 

The pastor encouraged us to surrender and pray short Psalms, small prayers or simple words from the Bible.  He suggested we slow down, listen and let God’s word speak to us. This is so helpful to me because I don’t even know how to pray anymore. There is so much going on and I am tired and unsure on how to even pray anymore. 

After my God time, we started packing for the state park. We had decided to go today as part of a push to add some fun to the end of our summer.  We had lunch before heading into the park and ate ice cream at our favorite spot near the park. While visiting the park we went on a peaceful walk to a dock back in the woods, rented paddle boats, swam together as a family and played tag in the water and then the kids enjoyed the tire swing on the playground. It was an awesome, laid back, peaceful afternoon. We were all blessed by it. 

When we returned home we all relaxed and finally enjoyed the movie “How to Eat Fried Worms” since Parker and I finished the book. We really had a simple day and we were able to enjoy ourselves without thinking much of Covid and distancing. 

Final thoughts and challenge: As I work through this dark time, I can’t help but wonder if I am the only person in the world that is struggling right now mentally and emotionally with all this Covid stuff and back to school and racial issues and so on. It feels so heavy and defeating but I feel so alone in my concern. Hearing that the Bridgetown pastor is also dealing with the heaviness of this made me feel like maybe I am not too crazy after all. 

Are you struggling with the weight of all the negativity of the world right now? Do you feel lost like you don’t know what to do next? Am I the only one that is spiraling?

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